Last night I had a dream that I was back in my native Bulgaria. I was in a store, buying something, and the cashier asked me where I was from. “I’m from here,” I responded, confused as to why he’d asked me this question. “You have an accent,” he responded. I felt devastated. “Bulgarian is my native language,” I thought in my dream. “How can I have an accent in my own tongue?” Then I woke up and went on with my day, but I couldn’t stop thinking about this dream.
I’ve been living in the US for 20 years. Although I don’t use Bulgarian on a regular basis, I don’t believe that you can forget your native language. With children it’s a bit different, but I always doubted adults who pretend to have developed an accent in the tongue they had grown up speaking.
On second thought, I realized that it’s not about forgetting your language. It’s about being alienated from it. Everything in this world evolves and languages change too. Of course, a language cannot change tremendously in the period of two decades, but it still evolves in a way that a person like me, who has lived abroad for such a long time, might sound a little off. There are a few reasons for this to happen, but remember that knowing more than one language and culture makes you a more well-rounded, experienced, and versatile person.
Reasons you may sound a bit off in your native language
Below are a few reasons why you might sound a bit off in your native language to others who have never left the country.
1. New tech terms
I left my native country before the birth of social media and the smartphone. Since then there has been a revolution in the world of technology and many new words have trickled their way into the language. Because today’s youth are so tech-savvy and more knowledgeable in English, they don’t feel the need to translate new technology terms. And, to be honest, many of these new terms can’t be directly translated from English to Bulgarian.
The challenge for me (and others who’ve lived abroad for years) comes when I have to decide which words to translate and which ones to say in English. By default, I usually try to translate from English to Bulgarian to make sure that everyone understands what I mean. But sometimes I end up sounding awkward because the technical terms I try to convert to Bulgarian are actually used in their original English form.
If this happens to you, just ask. That’s what I do now; every time I am unsure if I should translate a word, I ask friends and family members who live in Bulgaria and they tell me how the term in question is used.
2. Forgetting words or words coming first in English
I’ve heard many people who live in a foreign country and have become fluent in another language complain that they forget words in their native language. To be honest, it has happened to me many times. But this is inevitable and it’s not a bad thing. The truth is that when we learn another language, we don’t just memorize words; we sometimes learn different concepts and ideas that don’t have a specific term in our native language. And when we try to express these ideas, the first word that comes to mind is in English. Also, English words are often shorter than words in other languages and more easily retrievable when we speak fast. In addition, living, working, and communicating in another tongue rewires the brain to think differently. And because thinking is such an abstract process, we don’t only think in one language. There could be a concoction of words in our brain in all languages that we know.
If you feel that you are forgetting words in your native language, don’t panic. The words you haven’t used on a regular basis are still there. You just need to think a bit longer to retrieve them.
3. New slang
Every generation comes up with its own slang. Especially now, in the Internet era, new expressions spring up constantly. As a result, people who’ve lived abroad for many years might sound a bit old-fashioned because they use words that were used in their country before they had left. But how exciting it is to learn new expressions in your native language. This is easy. After all, you’ve learned a foreign language. You can memorize a few new phrases in your own tongue.
If you feel bad about this …
Below are a few tips on how not to give into negative thoughts when you feel that you are not as eloquent in your native language as you used to be. In case you feel bad about forgetting a word in your native language, consider this:
1. You speak more than one language
Remind yourself how much effort you put into learning another language and be proud of it. Research demonstrates cognitive benefits in bilinguals who constantly switch between languages (code switching) According to a study, being able to code switch back and forth between two languages is a sign of creativity and flexibility of bilingual language use and an alternative way to convey information. This can’t be said about monolinguals.
2. You understand different cultures
Not only have you learned another language, but you have also acquired another culture and a new way of behaving. You’ve learned to follow the rules and customs of another country and interact with people from diverse backgrounds. Many people who speak more than one language report that they feel slightly differently depending on the language they speak. So, you too might feel that you’ve developed a different personality when you speak English. Embrace it.
3. You are still YOU, but enhanced
Some studies have shown that bilinguals perform better than monolinguals in a range of social and cognitive skills. Bilinguals are reported to have developed greater empathy because they are better at focusing on the other person’s feelings and beliefs.
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When I go back to Bulgaria to visit family, I sometimes overhear locals talking about others who have left the country. The comments are often negative. Many argue that people who have chosen to live abroad seem more self-confident now. Unfortunately, some locals interpret this behavior as arrogance. But change in behavior is inevitable when you’ve learned another language, culture, and way of life. We all evolve and change. As the remarkable Nelson Manadela put it:
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
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Now I’d like to hear from you. Do you sometimes forget words in your native language? What do people from your culture think about others who have chosen to live abroad? Let me know in the comments below.
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