In this post I will discuss several English rules that you might have learned but native speakers don’t always follow. Keep in mind, though, that I will be talking about speakers in the US, and it might be different in other countries. In this post you will learn what kind of mistakes Americans make when they speak or write, so that you are not surprised when you hear or see something different from what you have learned.
There are some grammatical rules that you have probably learned at school and if you take a test, they will want you to use these particular rules to get a good grade. So, make sure that if you are about to take an important English test, you follow what you have learned. But here I will be talking about speaking or writing in real life.
Ok, let’s delve in.
Who vs. Whom
The first rule is the distinction between who and whom. Technically, who refers to a subject and whom refers to an object.
For example, in the question:
Who told you to come here?
Who refers to a subject.
You can answer: He did, or She did, or They did.
On the other hand, in the question:
Whom did you talk to?
Whom refers to an object.
You can answer: I talked to her, him, them, my mom, your sister, my boss, etc.
The easy way to remember whether to use who or whom in a question is to try to answer it.
For example, if you hear the question Who told you?, you can say ✔ He told me. But you can’t say: ✘ Him told me.
But if the question is Whom did you talk to?, you can answer ✔ I talked to him or her. You can’t say ✘ I talked to he or she.
Having said that, I rarely hear people using whom. Maybe I see it more in writing, but in everyday language in the US, I hear who used for both the subject and the object.
So, it’s perfectly ok to say: 🇺🇸 Who did you talk to?
Or: 🇺🇸 Who are you going with?
Again, if you see this on a test, make sure you know the rules, but if you are talking to someone, using whoinstead of whom has become pretty popular.
“A person who(m)…” vs. “A person that…”
The next rule is the use of who and whom in reference to people. When I was learning English, I was told to always use who or whom – not that – when we refer to a person.
For example:
the person whom I saw
or:
the girl who came to my class
or:
the guy whom I met at the meeting
In a nutshell, I was told to use who or whom when I refer to people, and that when I refer to objects.
For example:
✔ Betty is the one who does the cooking in her house.
not: ✘ Betty is the one that does the cooking in her house.
or:
✔ the person whom I talked to
and not:
✘ the person that I talked to
Technically You can say:
the person who works for the company that I worked for
See? You can use them both.
The who refers to the person, and the that refers to the company.
But these rules don’t reflect what I hear here in the US. Every day I hear people using that when they refer to other people.
I hear phrases like:
🇺🇸 the person that I married
or:
🇺🇸 the woman that worked for me
or:
🇺🇸 the guy that I saw at the store
So, this is yet another rule that you can ignore when you talk to people. But of course, it’s good to know it and remember it if you are taking a test.
Present perfect or simple past?
Let’s move on to the next rule. And this is the tense we should use with the adverbs: already, just, and yet. If you have studied British English, then you have been taught that – with these adverbs – you always use present perfect.
For example, you have to say:
✔ I have already done it
and not: ✘ I already did it
Or: ✔ I have just eaten
and not: ✘ I just ate
But in the US, I hear many people asking: 🇺🇸 Did you already eat? Or saying: 🇺🇸 I just did it.
I must say I don’t hear simple past with yet. But I often hear it with already and just. I think this is an American thing, so someone from the UK might find it strange.
By the way, I did a little research on this topic and ran into this comment by a British woman:
I remember visiting a cousin of my husband’s in the States: when we arrived, the first thing he asked was “Did you already eat?”, which to British ears sounds completely wrong (I’m not saying it is, mark you, it’s just American usage). 😀
The bottom line is, you choose what to say. I just want you to be aware.
“If I would have known” vs. “If I had known”
Next on the list is an example of the third conditional: if plus past perfect, and then the second part of the sentence with would have and the past participle.
For example, listen to this sentence:
If I had known you were coming, I wouldn’t have booked this trip.
Notice the first part of the sentence: If I had known.
This is the past perfect tense in a conditional sentence.
But many Americans would say:
🇺🇸 If I would’ve known you were coming, I wouldn’t have booked this trip.
Notice the difference: if I would’ve known instead of: If I had known.
Technically, this is incorrect, but I hear this ALL THE TIME. So, if you hear it too, don’t be confused. It’s not yet another grammatical structure you have to learn. It’s just bad grammar. But hey, people use it pretty often, so it’s definitely worth mentioning.
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Ok, the next three points on my list are definitely pet-peeves of mine. They are just plain wrong and I’m always so annoyed when I hear or see people using them, but oh well. This is a language, not math and language is always evolving.
Mind you, when I say they are wrong, I mean they are grammatically wrong. But they are accepted by native speakers. I think some native speakers don’t even know they are making these mistakes. So, I wanted to point them out.
Me vs. I
Ok, one of them is about when to use I and when to use me. I is the subject of the sentence and me is the object. I also call me the recipient in the sense that there is something done or given to me.
But what I’ve been hearing more and more lately is native speakers using I when actually me would be correct.
For example:
✘ Please email him and I.
instead of: ✔ Please email him and me.
or:
✘ This is meant just for you and I.
instead of: ✔ This is meant just for you and me.
or:
✘ between you and I
instead of: ✔ between you and me
In all of these examples, me is correct, not I. This is meant for you and me, or: between you and me.
I think at some point Americans were told that I sounds more sophisticated than me. And yes, saying So am Isounds better than the super informal Me too. But now many people overapply I in sentences when they actually need to say me. So, if you hear native speakers saying between you and I, know that it’s an accepted mistake. But I don’t know why it irritates me 😅.
Nouns in the plural form and the apostrophe
The next one refers only to writing and it’s using an apostrophe to make a noun plural. As you probably know, the apostrophe should be used for the possessive form like in my sister’s husband or my teacher’s book.
But many Americans use it to make nouns plural. I often see phrases like:
✘ She has two job’s.
for example, where the plural noun jobs is spelled with an apostrophe.
This is incorrect, so please don’t be confused just because some native speakers write this way.
A hybrid tense?
And the last one on my list is creating kind of a hybrid between the simple past and present perfect.
I sometimes hear native speakers say:
✘ I’ve spoke to him.
when they mean: ✔ I’ve spoken to him.
or:
✘ I’ve drove.
instead of: ✔ I’ve driven.
If you have learned in school that you should use the past participle form of the verb when you use present perfect, you are correct. Don’t let someone confuse you just because they are a native speaker.
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Please leave me a comment and tell me if you have ever heard or seen any of these “mistakes” or forms.
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