Is it better to blend in or to stand out? As a little child growing up in communistic Bulgaria, I always wanted to blend in. Not that there were many opportunities to stand out anyway. Everyone was wearing almost the same clothes, watching the same TV programs (no wonder, we only had two TV channels back then), and studying from the same textbooks. The society also expected you to behave in a certain way, to fit in. Deviations were not welcomed.
Although I’ve been living in the United States for many years now, I’ve realized that the desire to blend in is universal. We human beings are social creatures and we want to belong. But sometimes the fear of rejection prevents us from following our dreams and desires; we care too much about what others might think of us. As the psychiatrist Joanna Cannon writes in her article “We All Want to Fit in,” published in Psychology Today:
I meet a lot of people who ‘unbelong’. People who stand at the edge of life’s dance floor, trying to copy what everyone else is doing, but never quite getting it ‘right’.
But many successful people owe their success to the fact that they are different. They do not follow the herd. They are brave enough to do things their way. In other words, they stand out.
I also wanted to blend in when I first came to the States. I wanted my English to be perfect so people would stop asking, “Where are you from?” Back then, this question always made me feel like I didn’t belong. But I don’t feel this way anymore. I’ve realized that what makes me “ME” is being different.
Blend in
- To look like things nearby.
- To look like one belongs with a particular group.
She tried to blend in by dressing like the other girls.
Stand out
- To be different or better than other similar things or people.
She would stand out from the other candidates thanks to her skills and years of experience.
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What about you? Do you prefer to blend in or are you willing to stand out?
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