My last flight from Europe back to the US went so smoothly that I was almost suspicious. “Could anything still go wrong?” I asked myself when the plane landed at the San Francisco airport. My husband and I spent the last five weeks in Europe, splitting our time between our two respective native countries Poland and Bulgaria. But flying from one place to the other over there was far from uneventful – a delayed flight, lack of information at the airport, etc. So for our last flight back home, I was praying for no additional surprises.
To my relief, the flight was on time and it didn’t even feel like we spent ten and a half hours sitting on a plane. I couldn’t sleep (I usually don’t sleep while flying) and spent my time watching movies the entire time. When we landed, I was eager to hop on Uber and finally go home.
Unfortunately, events took a different turn. After we passed passport control, we headed to baggage claim. For the last few years, we’ve been flying only with our carry-ons and we’ve been loving the experience, but this time we ended up buying some things in Europe, so we checked in one additional suitcase. And after the ten-and-a-half-hour flight from Copenhagen to San Francisco, we ended up waiting an hour and a half more for the luggage to show up! 😐
At first, no one knew what was going on. I, along with the rest of the passengers from our flight, jealously looked how people from other flights were taking their pieces of luggage from other carousels and were leaving. No one told us anything. Needless to say, after more than an hour with no information, I felt irritated.
The other passengers and I started looking for someone who could give us answers. But every airport employee that we chased after, told us that they didn’t have any information. By the time someone eventually showed up, the level of frustration and anger had escalated. The representative who eventually came to tell us that our carousel had been broken didn’t have much information either. The only thing he was able to assure us was that the carousel was being repaired.
When he finished talking, I opened my mouth. I spoke with such confidence that others turned to look at me. I explained that we had been waiting for more than an hour without any explanation. And I demanded concrete answers, I asked what the worst case scenario was, and I requested that he come every fifteen minutes with an update, a request he’d accepted. I was clear and concise. While I was speaking, I noticed several other people nodding. After that they came to me to ask me questions. Other passengers also started coming to me to share their thoughts about the situation and to ask if I had any more information. I realized that people felt comfortable talking to me because of the way I had spoken up.
The thing is, I didn’t feel that my English was the best at that moment. After spending five weeks not speaking English, I needed some time for my oral muscles to readjust. But at this point, I didn’t care. My only goal was to get answers.
Five steps you can take to look and sound more fluent
Below you will find five steps that will help you look, feel, and sound more confident when you need to make a point.
1. Be confident when you know that you are right
When you know you are right, speak up. This is not the moment to be shy or to doubt yourself. In such situations, the person you are talking to most probably won’t even notice your “imperfect” choice of words or any slight mispronunciations. They will be focusing on giving you the right answers and accommodating your wishes. If you start feeling that you are getting stuck or can’t remember a certain word, just move on and explain what you are trying to say with different words. Stay calm, confident, and composed.
2. Ask precise questions and show that you expect precise answers
The more precise questions you ask, the more specific answers you will get. When you are trying to obtain information, don’t let your emotions overcome you. Keep your questions and comments straight to the point and you will look and feel more confident.
3. Pay attention to your posture (even when you are tired)
A good posture will always boost up your confidence. According to science, when you slouch, you minimize the amount of oxygen going to your brain because you reduce the capacity of your lungs by up to 30%. So a good posture will increase your brain function and will help you think clearly. Straighten your back and shoulders, lift your head and look the person you are talking to in the eyes. Try not to overdo it, because if you stare intensely in someone’s eyes, they might feel uncomfortable. But the right amount of gaze exchange between you and the other person will make you appear more genuine and confident.
4. Don’t focus on your “imperfect” English
Many nonnative speakers often feel “less than” when they speak to native speakers. The fear of making mistakes and being judged prevents them from voicing their opinions, questions, and concerns. If you have ever felt this way, I hear you; I’ve been there. But if you have something important to say or need to obtain certain information, choose to voice your thoughts and questions. Not speaking up will make you feel worse afterwards, which is not a confidence booster. Overcoming your fears will instantly jack up your self-esteem.
5. Think of others whom you are helping as well
When I spoke up at the airport, I wasn’t just trying to help myself. I included the other passengers who, like me, were exhausted from the long flight and eager to go home. I told the agent that we are all tired and we need some answers right away. At that point, other people started nodding and supporting me because I spoke on their behalf as well. I didn’t just care about myself. I wanted to help others who were in the same situation. When you include and support others, they include and support you as well. So, try to see the bigger picture.
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Have you ever chosen not to speak up because of fear of making mistakes? Or have you chosen to speak up despite your fear? How did you feel afterwards? Let me know in the comments section below. Remember, sharing is caring. Other people will benefit from your stories.
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