Some of you might not know, but I am a tennis lover. Although I don’t play tennis, I love watching it. There is nothing better than watching two world-class athletes being on the verge of their physical capabilities and not giving up.
But a few days ago, during the Paribas Open tennis tournament, the former world number one Naomi Osaka was brought to tears by a heckler. “Naomi, you suck,” he screamed while she was playing. As a result, she started crying and ended up losing the game. Osaka has been dealing with mental health issues recently, but I was still surprised by her reaction. I expected a top athlete like her to be more resilient. But at that time, she wasn’t Naomi Osaka, the top tennis player who once ranked number one. She was just Naomi, a vulnerable human being who couldn’t hold back her tears after a mean comment.
The next day I saw some articles where some of her colleagues – other world-famous tennis players – commented on Osaka’s reaction. They felt sorry for her, but they argued that she should learn how to deal with such situations. In a nutshell, the message was that she needed to build resilience and be ready to cope with adversities.
Resilience in learning English
This incident made me think about resilience and its role in learning a foreign language. Resilience is defined as the ability to bounce back after a challenge or a difficult time. And resilience in learning is the willingness to take on challenges and to risk making mistakes in order to reach a goal.
When it comes to learning English, many people are afraid of making mistakes. In fact, the fear of making a grammatical, vocabulary, or pronunciation mistake is what stifles English learners the most. This is not just because nonnative speakers are afraid that they will be misunderstood. This is because many of them dread the feeling of being excluded, of being treated like an outsider.
But according to a study, what differentiates resilient learners from the rest is the ability to resist educational exclusion. That is, these learners are not afraid of not being fully included. They are absolutely comfortable to be in the position of a semi-outsider.
As dr. Elizabeth Chapman Hoult describes it in her book Adult Learning and La Recherche Féminine: Reading Resilience and Hélène Cixous:
… resilient adult learners are able to recognize, withstand and negotiate the tension between inclusion and exclusion.
In other words, resilient adult learners are not afraid to be different, to look different, to sound different, and to make mistakes. They also don’t look at previous failures as devastating, but use them as lessons to learn from.
A talent or a skill?
Resilience, however, is not a talent that you are born with and either have it or not. It is a skill that can be learned. It comes and goes throughout a person’s lifetime. There are certain situations when we find ourselves strong and resilient, while in other situations we find it hard to cope. But because resilience can be developed, we can focus on what to do to build it up.
Resilience is extremely important when we learn a foreign language. A study following a group of Turkish students who were preparing to be English teachers found out that more resilience overcame language challenges faster. Most of the students in the beginning felt frustrated with their traditional language instruction because it was focused too much on grammar and memorizing vocabulary. They were also unhappy because of the lack of speaking opportunities. More resilient students, however, found ways to change their language learning experience. Some of these factors included autonomy (taking things into their own hands), problem-solving skills, positive emotions, and peer support.
Four tips for building resilience
Below you will find the four factors that helped the students from the study to build resilience and tips on how you can incorporate them into your own English learning process.
1. Autonomy
Because the students from the study had been unhappy with their traditional English classes that were focused just on grammar and memorizing words, at some point they decided to take things into their own hands. That is, they realized that they have to find ways to use English outside of class. Some said they’d played video games and watched YouTube, others watched TED talks and joined online conversation groups in English. One student in particular said that she’d watched a lot of YouTube videos about makeup – her biggest hobby – and that’s how she had learned many new words.
You can also take your English learning into your own hands. I often hear students complaining about how much they hate grammar and how hard it is for them to remember words. It’s true that it feels grueling to drill grammar and individual words without context. Watch videos on topics that interest you, read, journal for a few minutes every day, and speak to others in English. If you don’t live in an English speaking country, join an online speaking club (I hope you are a part of our Speaking Club 😉) and practice.
2. Problem-solving skills
The most resilient students from the study reported overcoming English learning obstacles by getting creative. Rather than focusing on the shortcomings of the traditional English classes, they tried to find more creative ways to learn. Some of them made their own learning materials, such as posters, flashcards, and games. Others practiced a speech in front of the mirror.
You can also be creative in your learning process. For example, when I first came to the US, I watched some of my favorite TV shows (YouTube didn’t exist back then) and imitated what I had heard. That is, I repeated phrases and sentences in the way I had heard them. Even if I didn’t know words, I tried to imitate the sounds. Now, there are many more sources on the Internet. You can search for a video on a topic you are interested in. But don’t just passively watch. Repeat after the speaker. You will be surprised how much this method helps. When you learn a new word, always put it in a phrase or a sentence. This way you will understand and remember it better. You can use YouGlish for many examples on how a particular word is used in context.
3. Positive emotions
The most resilient students from the study stated that positive emotions made them more self-confident and created positive attitudes towards English. Even if they faced difficulties, they didn’t lose hope. They were determined to succeed in learning English.
Keeping a positive attitude when you struggle with English is easier said than done. But you can try to see the positive even in a difficult situation. When I worked at the front desk of a Marriott hotel, there were still many words that I didn’t know. Sometimes I was so frustrated that I wanted to cry. But eventually I learned how to make such situations a little less painful by joking. I remember when a guest once asked me about the equipment in the workout room and I didn’t know the names of the apparatus. I joked with him that there was TV. Everyone around, including me, burst out laughing. The thing is, beating yourself up for not knowing everything won’t help you. Try to create positive situations and feelings, and you’ll feel more fluent faster.
4. Peer support
Receiving help from family and friends is an important factor in learning. The students from the study reported relying on friends’ help when they couldn’t complete a task on their own. One student, for example, explained that when his teacher had asked him to write an essay, he didn’t know how to do it. He turned to his friends for help and they shared their notes with him.
I remember when, back in college, a Russian classmate of mine had received a very low grade on our English assignment. She asked the professor to meet with her and explain what she did wrong. The professor told her that he could meet her the following day, but she didn’t have much time. She only had one afternoon to rewrite her essay. Then she asked me for help. After I gave her a few directions, she resubmitted it and got an A.
Life is always easier when you have social support. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. If none of your family members or friends is learning English, find a community online. There are plenty of people out there who are in the same situation and would love to connect.
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Tell me about yourself. Was there a moment in your life when you had to be resilient?
Do you know that another word for language” is “tongue”? A language is meant to be spoken. Join our free Speaking Club, where you will have the chance to discuss a variety of interesting topics with an amazing community of fellow English speakers from all over the world.
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Hello everyone!!!.
Since I was a child, I’ve been travelling a lot. Many times, I got through some painful experiences of being afraid of speaking out loud or making mistakes or being misunderstood. At some point, I realized that I couldn’t continue living that way, because it was really difficult to deal with those awful situations again and again.
Most of all, I asked a question to myself: why am I able to handle any kind of circumstances in my native language?.
So, I started to build up stronger foundations. I started to use my body language much more, smiling and keeping a positive attitude no matter what, and try to re-frame all the negative thoughts that I was being addressed by native and non-native, in positive and meaningful thoughts and way of reasoning.
In the meanwhile, I changed and developed new habits, abilities and skills. In other words, without being aware of it, I was having a huge impact on my mindset.
Nowadays, thanks to this ongoing process I become more resilient which means, I believe and trust myself much more than a few years ago. Lastly, the English language is an active and significant part of my lifestyle!!!.
Remember that anyway, there is nothing wrong when you don’t understand something and you ask a question to clarify some expressions or idioms and so on, that you didn’t get it at first!!!!.
I wish you all the best,
Alessandro.