Enjoy the experience, don’t dwell on the goal

Enjoy the experience, don’t dwell on the goalWhen I was in my first semester in college, the professor in the English class I was taking, commented on my writing. He looked at my paper, then looked at me and told me that I would probably not get an A in his class. My sentences were “awkward,” according to him, because they didn’t sound native. He assured me that I didn’t lack ideas, that I was creative, but because English was not my native language and my writing was weird, it was unlikely that I would get an A at the end of the semester.

I remember looking back at him and thinking, Is this guy implying that I might be able to get a B? That’s awesome! Now when I remember that day, it seems funny to me that this was what I was thinking while my professor was giving me feedback on my writing. But back then, the idea of getting a B in a college-level English class seemed like a success to me. After all, the only experience I had had with English by that point was in my ESL school. And having started college with no other writing preparation, B seemed like a damn great option to me 😅.

Although in the end I did actually end up getting an A, my main goal during the semester wasn’t to prove the professor wrong. See, in the beginning I didn’t believe in my writing ability in English and I was just hoping to be able to pass the class. But when he implied that I would probably end up with a B, I felt I reached a whole new level of confidence. Because I already believed that I could get a B, the pressure of trying to survive in the class was off. My new focus was not trying not to fail; it was trying to succeed. My mindset switched from scarcity to abundance and I thrived.

How to enjoy every step of the experience and not lose yourself in ambition

Below are a few things to remember when trying to succeed in English

1. Focus on solutions, not problems

I often hear people beating themselves up for not speaking better English. If this is you, focus on finding a solution and try not to dwell too much on the problem. If you notice that you make the same type of mistakes often, try to find out why. Is there any particular grammatical structure that is giving you a hard time? Or maybe there is a certain sound that is hard for you to pronounce? Then put your efforts into practicing these particular challanges, and not English overall. Remember that there is a solution to every problem. But in order to find a solution, you have to reevaluate what you know well and what you still need to work on. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses will make you feel more powerful and confident.

2. Don’t take anything too personally

Years ago, I would take any comment about my English personally. When people asked me where I was from, I thought that my pronunciation was not good enough. When someone would ask me to repeat, I would think that they didn’t understand me. But actually once I found out that two of my friends had a hearing problem that had nothing to do with me.

Many of my students now tell me that they freeze when someone asks them to repeat what they have said because they immediately think that their accent is the problem. If you feel the same way, try not to panic. Try to remember the word or phrase that you have used and google it later. This might be hard in the beginning, but if you make an effort and build a mental habit not to take people’s comments too personally, you will develop a more positive mindset.

3. Have a support group

Everything’s better when it’s shared with like-minded people. Find a community of people who are also learning and sharing ideas that you can benefit from. Thanks to today’s technology, you can find people online. For example, our Speaking Club has members from all over the world coming together once a week to practice English, share ideas on different topics, and support one another.

How do you feel or react when someone comments on your English? Share with our community in the comment section or just send me an email to let me know. When you share, you show that you care 🙂.

esc

Please leave your comment in the comment section and share this post on social media using the sharing buttons below the text.

And remember to sign up for our free Speaking Club, where you will have the chance to discuss a variety of interesting topics with an amazing community of fellow English speakers from all over the world.

 

Share this page:

Posts created 88

2 thoughts on “Enjoy the experience, don’t dwell on the goal

  1. Thanks for your support. I really impressed from your blog and I want to attend. Let me know about the details. I am interested to learn American accent.

  2. Whenever people say ‘ your English is good’, I do not believe them. Whenever people say ‘not praise words’, like ‘ you are conservative’, I believe it.

    There are times I join some practise-english-zoom, and when people lean their ears, try to understand me, my confidence instantly drops to zero. I would think: is my English THAT bad? Uh-oh, she/he doesn’t understand me. Then I speak less and less in that zoom. Writing this now, i feel a sense of ‘let go’. I am at the stage of ‘not being able to not take it personally’. So what! i will move the next stage. (before I read this post and write this comment, my thoughts were: it’s so hard to not take it personally).

    Thank you so much for writing this post.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top